Do you drag yourself to a job that you hate every day so that you can make money to buy a bunch of crap that you don't really need, or even really want? Do you get a paycheck every week just to turn around and pay bills that do nothing more than keep you tied to a failing debt-based financial system? Do you keep "friends" that you don't really care for, enjoy, or have anything in common with, just because you are "supposed to"? Do you reseed your lawn every summer just so you can waste precious time watering and mowing it? Do you wear heels to feel taller, make-up to look prettier? Do you shave? Or do you conform to the non-conformists? Are you anti-fracking? Anti-GMO? Pro-organic? Vegetarian? Vegan? Do you sew your own clothes and run five miles every day? Do you have your nose pierced? Are you LGBT friendly? Do you wear the right stuff, read the right stuff, eat the right stuff, hang with the right crowd? STOP THE MADNESS! Start making decisions that are right for you, and stop trying to fit in to some mold created by industry, social media, or...god forbid, (gasp, gasp, choke...) even your closest peers. Who says you can't eat Pringles and wear homemade deodorant? Who says you can't consider good sex exercise? Who says you have to work 60 hours a week doing something you hate, just so you have the money to de-stress on your days off? Who the fuck makes these rules? John Milton (very, very famous writer for those of you that don't know) once said: "EVERYTHING IN MODERATION. INCLUDING MODERATION." Stop. Breath. Examine what you are doing and put some thought into it. But for the love of all that is good on this earth, do NOT stress about it!! I'm not saying that we should all walk away from responsibility, that we should all just do whatever we want with no thought to others, that we should become thoughtless. On the contrary, I'm saying we need to raise our consciousness, raise our awareness, raise our SELF-awareness, rely on our instincts a little more, and break away from this herd mentality that society drives into us! Realize that being self-aware is NOT the same as being self-centered! De-stressing, detoxifying your life, means admitting to yourself that YOU are not the CENTER of your own life...your work will go on even if you skip a day or two, your bills can wait, you can say NO to going to dinner with people you don't like, you can miss a game, skip a run, refuse to shampoo you hair, eat nothing but corn chips for an entire day, carry a rabbit around, say no to brussel sprouts, turn off your phone...and you know what?!? The world WILL NOT come to a screeching halt. Really, it won't. Not in any way, shape, or form.
I've been thinking about this idea of detoxifying your life one step at a time lately. By detoxifying, I don't mean drinking green smoothies and refusing red meat; I don't mean curtailing the occasional cigar; I don't mean signing up for a colon cleanse. I mean getting rid of the things in your life that make you feel crappy, both physically and mentally. Milton really knew what he was talking about with the moderation thing. I think that mentally we need to binge once in a while...go wild, have a melt-down, watch Netflix all day, drink a bottle of wine, eat the ENTIRE slice of cake! Go ahead!! Denying yourself just adds more stress to your life. Stress is the WORST thing for your health, so don't try to detox physically in a way that is going to make you mentally toxic (everyone knows how grumpy diets can make us...). I saw on a FB post years ago this quote: "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." Bullshit. I can think of a thousand things that taste better than thin feels. Which is why we are not all skinny-minnies. So let's think about how we can detox physically without a crazy fad diet! The best physical detox you can do starts with the largest organ that belongs to the human body. We all know what that is, right? Yes! Yes, we do: "...it rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again..." Our skin! Ever wonder what was IN that lotion? I bet some good old-fashioned olive oil would have worked better (#thingsserialkillersdon'tconsider). Skin. You are in it for all the years of your life. It takes a beating. It filters out a lot of crap that your body doesn't need or want. It keeps all your other organs where they belong. And don't forget, skin covers your ENTIRE body, inside your ears, your mouth, those unmentionable bits....and everything we put on every bit of skin has a potential influence on our WHOLE well-being. My tipping point was looking at my tube of face scrub the other day, the same stuff I've used for the past 18 years, and realizing that it actually says: "Like an instant detox for your face..." Followed by a list of ingredients that I cannot pronounce and don't really know what any of them are. But...I bought into it! I've used it forever! To the point where I was worried that if I STOPPED using it, something bad would happen. Well, that's just dumb, that right there is herd mentality, and that day I decided I was all done with that. You know what works great for washing your face? WATER. Water is actually pretty awesome for lots of stuff. Like drinking. Want a calorie free beverage at a low cost?!? Turn your tap on. Imagine that. Free drinks, right there in your own kitchen. Now...another thing I want to mention is toothpaste. Because there's a lot of skin in your mouth. Did you know that soap, toothpaste, shampoo, etc, etc, companies aren't required to list ALL of the ingredients in a product? Nope, just the ones that they deem important. Oh, and the FDA has a say in it too. Because THEY have no vested interest in keeping people unhealthy, do they? (please use your own sarcastic voice there). So, I made some toothpaste, and it works better than any I've ever bought. My teeth are shinier, and I don't wake up feeling like a little green man shit in my mouth over-night. Soap? Yep, made that too....a few different kinds, all filled with ingredients that I can pronounce. Shampoo? Just use the soap! Rub in a little oil (olive or whatever) as a leave-in conditioner. Deodorant? (Yes, that's an important one)...made that too! No aluminum means less risk of cancer! Yes...let's put a carcinogen right over some major glands every day, at least once a day...because that seems smart. You know what? Homemade deodorant has like four ingredients, and it works. STOP LOADING YOUR SKIN WITH CHEMICALS! Eat in moderation, run in moderation, take the dog for a walk, smoke a joint, have a laugh...it's all about starting the detoxification process somewhere, with at least one small step. I know I already feel better. By the way...there are about a million blogs with recipes for all this homemade stuff, so I won't be redundant and post any of them here. And if you don't want to be bothered making your own...pay me! Have a wonderful day, and good luck with the detox. And remember to always carry a small bottle of pure oil just in case you get nabbed by a cannibalistic serial killer. Because really, anything can happen.
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